Odd Jobs
by ericapeace1
Summary: Oh no! Luffy spent all the crew's beri on the bronze statue he's always wanted. In order to pay Nami back, he puts up flyers around the port, and gets some surprising replies. Rated T for possible swearing
1. Chapter 1

This is a fanfic for bleachfan170's contest; check it out if you enjoy writing about One Piece!

Anyway, this is my first One Piece fanfic, I'll try to keep all the characters acting like themselves ^. ^

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. That honor belongs to Eiichiro Oda- sensei.

This first chapter is just a short intro, the other chapters will be longer (hopefully, I have a tendency to write short chapters. I'll do my best though!)

Things in single quotes '…' are characters thoughts. Double quotes "…" are speech

"LUFFYYYY!" the navigator's anguished scream echoed around the harbor. "WHERE DID ALL THE BERI GO?"

The captain in question gave his trademark idiotic grin, gesturing excitedly behind him. The object he was gesticulating towards glinted in the sunlight, causing the scowl on Nami's face to deepen. "You spent all our money…." she said with menacing quiet, " on a stupid STATUE?" The false calm in her voice vanished, blistering Luffy with the force of her anger.

The navigator's fist connected painfully with Luffy's head, leaving a steaming lump. The captain's eye watered, and he grabbed his head in pain. "Namiii, that hurt!" he complained indignantly.

"Be glad I only hit you once," said Nami through gritted teeth. "Because of your idiocy, we have no money. No money means no food, no medicine, and no mapping equipment. How are you ever going to make up for this?" Her eyes glinted evilly. "You better think fast Luffy, because we need provisions before we set out. If you don't find a way to repay me, you'll never leave this harbor, which means someone else will become the Pirate King before you!"

Luffy froze in horror, unable to say anything as Nami stormed away. 'The expression on his face was quite comical,' thought Nami, but she was still furious about him wasting all their money.

Luffy remained where he was on the deck until Usopp came by, singing the Sogeking song softly under his breath. "Usopp!" called Luffy. "What's the best way to earn money?"

Usopp adopted a heroic stance, arms crossed proudly. "If you perform heroic acts, the townspeople are sure to reward you! The great Captain Usopp-" His rant was cut off abruptly as Zoro accidentally whacked him with a bundle of planks. His current job was to repair the ship, and he had a bad habit of not looking around before turning.

Usopp spluttered indignantly. "ZORO! Look where you're going!"

Zoro looked over, a bored expression on his face. "My bad," he said calmly, before turning away to continue repairing the ship. The planks collided painfully with Usopp's head once again, knocking the sharpshooter out cold.

Luffy crouched down, poking Usopp in an attempt to wake him up. A slight gurgling groan rose from Usopp, but nothing else.

"USOPP!" a high pitched voice rang out, and the small, furry form of Chopper came hurrying across the deck. "He's covered in wounds! Call a doctor!" Chopper cried in panic, then paused. "Wait! I'm a doctor! Hang in there, Usopp!" Chopper quickly patched up Usopp, while Luffy wandered off to find an idea of how to pay Nami back.

"Oi, Sanji!" called Luffy, meandering into the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Make me food!" The cook turned around slowly, and Luffy could see annoyance in his one visible eye, just before Sanji's fook slammed into Luffy.

"Dumbass, there's no supplies left to make you food," replied the grumpy cook. "And you made Nami-san mad, so I wouldn't make you food anyways." Sanji tossed Luffy a fishing pole. "Go fish if you want food, but stay out of my kitchen!" Sanji shoved Luffy out of the kitchen and slammed the door. He glanced out the porthole at the dejected captain, then shrugged and returned to his cooking. This time, Nami-san would praise him for his cooking; he would prepare a dessert that would make even her fall for him.

Luffy traipsed off to the side of the ship and cast the line, sitting down with a depressed expression. If he couldn't think of a way to pay back Nami, he couldn't be the Pirate King! He pouted for a moment, his lip nearly touching his chin.

Nami walked up to him. "If you're going to be so depressed, I guess I could give you a hint just this once. Put up flyers advertising your ability to work, and take jobs from the townspeople. You'll have to go in disguise though, which could be troublesome." She sighed. "Aho-sencho! Get to work." She walked away.

Yayy! First chapter done! This fanfic is going surprisingly quickly, hopefully I'll have another chapter out soon.

Review please I always love feedback!

This chapter was a bit slow, I know, but it'll get funnier. I just wanted to introduce the characters and get a bit of plot set up first. Next chapter: Luffy gets his first job! It could be more dangerous than he ever imagined. Stay tuned! (I sound like a bad commercial, don't I?)


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everybody! Chapter two: expect lots of awkward situations for Luffy

Disclaimer: I own nothing. That honor belongs to Eiichiro Oda-san

Enjoy! R&R please!

* * *

"Done!" proclaimed Nami. She held up a sheet of paper for the captain to examine. Luffy stared at it in horror and backed away.

"Luffy…" she said menacingly. "It's your fault we don't have beri, remember? Now put these up and maybe I'll forgive you if we get some calls. But be thorough! Don't be skimpy with them. I want the whole town to get one!"

* * *

Luffy's hair rippled in the breeze. The captain's face was set in a comically deep frown, his mouth turned down nearly past his shoulders. His unhappiness was partially caused by the absence of his beloved straw hat, which was much too conspicuous to wear in town, where he was now.

Luffy pinned up yet another poster and glanced around at his handiwork. Papers literally plastered the houses, leaving almost no bare wall-space. He gave an approving nod and headed back to the Sunny. Nami had asked him to be thorough, and he had been as thorough as he could. Perhaps she would forgive him when she saw what a good job he had done!

"Luffy…" the navigator's voice was tight with rage, hissing ominously through the air. He turned and grinned.

"Isn't this great Nami!" he said, completely oblivious to Nami's rising anger.

"YOU IDIOT!" she yelled. "No one will look at them now! They'll think that it's a prank!" She raised one fist, but stopped before she hit him. She was already drawing too much attention to them. If people looked too closely at Luffy, they might realize who he was!

"Come on," she said, and dragged Luffy bodily back to the ship.

* * *

Luffy sat dejectedly on the rail of the Sunny, his hat back on his head, but he was none the happier because of it.

Suddenly, a sound cut through the air, a sound none of them had expected. _DooDooDooDoo…_ the ship's DenDen Mushi was ringing!

Nami raced over and picked up the receiver. "Moshi Moshi?" she said cautiously.

"Hello! I'm calling to inquire about the…few flyers that I found on my house. They say that this person… umm…" the caller paused for a second. "This person, Akuma Aho, is available to perform certain odd jobs. I need someone to help me handle the kids. I have four of my own, and my cousin is coming over with hers as well. I can't cope with 11 kids. Can this Akuma-san come over and help me?"

Nami glanced as Luffy with a gleam in her eye the captain didn't like at all. "Of course he can," she said smoothly. "When do you need him for?"

"If he could come as soon as possible, that would be wonderful," the lady sighed. "My cousin will be here in an hour or so and I need to get ready. If you could, tell Akuma-san to come to 42 Canal Lane as soon as he can?"

Nami nodded. "Of course! He'll be over shortly."

The lady sighed. "Oh, thank you so much! My name is Rinari Hinata, by the way. What would the fee be?" she asked.

Nami thought for a moment. "Akuma-san charges 7,000 beri an hour."

Rinari sighed again. "Alright, thank you very much." _Click._ Nami hung up the receiver and turned to Luffy.

"Well, captain-san," she said with deceptive smoothness. "Looks like you've found yourself a job."

Luffy scowled. "But-"

Nami cut him off. "You will go work and you will like it." Her tone allowed for no argument, so Luffy slumped off to his cabin to change. His trademark red vest and blue shorts were much too conspicuous.

When he emerged, he was wearing a grey collared shirt and deep blue pants. His hat was gone, and his hair had been neatly combed down and parted. The forlorn captain looked absolutely nothing like his usual self.

A few minutes later, Luffy, aka "Akuma-san" was knocking at Rinari Hinata's door. It opened quickly, revealing a harassed-looking young woman with mousy brown hair tied back into a messy ponytail. Her hazel eyes looked curiously at Luffy through thick glasses.

"Are you…Akuma-san?" she asked hesitantly.

Luffy nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I'm here to help take care of your kids."

She smiled warmly. "You can call me Rinari, all my friends do. Please, come in." Luffy stepped hesitantly though the doorway and was instantly assaulted by the smell of many kids and many, many dirty diapers. _Ugh,_ he thought to himself.

"This way," said Rinari. "The kids are all in the playroom waiting for you! They can't wait to play. They haven't had someone new for ages. For some reason, our babysitters don' t usually want to come back…"

She led him to a colorful door covered with scribbles and splatters of paint. "The kids like to decorate their doors, so I let them have fun with this," she explained, seeing Luffy stare at the door. "If they start getting rowdy, just let them paint something. That usually calms them down."

Luffy was starting to really dread this job. He would almost rather try to swim! He cautiously opened the door and had to duck as a small stuffed animal, thrown with surprising force, headed straight for his head.

Squeals sounded from behind various toys. Luffy looked around incredulously. The room was filled with every type of toy imaginable. Slides, a bouncy house, and more toys than any kid could ever play with in their entire life. The garish carpet was almost completely covered with different stuffed animals and toy figurines.

"Come on out!" called Rinari. "I brought a new friend for you. His name is Akuma-san and he'll be looking after you while your aunt and I talk."

Instantly, three small boys toppled out from behind various toys, giggling, while a girl stepped daintily out of the closet. She peered at him through large eyes, seemingly intimidated by him. He stood there, at a loss of what to do. Rinari gave him a gentle push forward.

"Go on," she whispered. "They don't usually bite." Luffy stared at her for a second. Her words didn't offer much comfort, but he stepped forward cautiously anyways.

He was instantly assaulted by the three boys, who threw themselves on top of him, knocking the captain to the ground.

Rinari continued talking unfazed. "The one pulling on your arm is Nico, the one trying to hold you down is Percy, and the one poking your head is James. They're triplets, and they're three years old. The one standing on the side is Eliza. She's five. Have fun!" She walked off, leaving Luffy to struggle with the three 3-year-olds.

He finally managed to push them off and sprang to his feet, backing away, feeling for the door handle behind him. His fingers met with only door. He turned briefly to see, and was horrified to see that there was no handle on the inside. He was locked in with the three terrors!

* * *

"Sit still, mister!" her tiny little voice commanded. He was sitting on a tiny stool with his knees practically to his ears, mentally begging the young girl to stop the torture. "Your hair is almost done!" she cried. "Don't ruin it!"

She had spent the last half an hour carefully plaiting his hair into tiny braids, which stuck up in the air at crazy angles.

The boys were fighting with toy swords in the background, throwing toys everywhere and making a general hubbub.

Just when Luffy thought it could get no worse, the door opened and seven more kids raced in screaming. Four girls and three boys raced around the room as though they had had multiple espressos before coming. He couldn't believe how hyper they were!

Rinari smiled at him. "Why, don't you look lovely!" she cried. Luffy decided he hated this job. He wanted out! He leaped to his feet and attempted to head for the door, but the six boys tackled him again, screaming and bashing him with toy cars.

The slightly older lady next to Rinari smiled as well. "You get along so well!" she said, obviously pleased. "The three boys are Mike, Rick, and Daniel, and the four girls are Danica, Madison, Emma, and Erin. Have fun all!" The door shut again.

Luffy struggled blindly, almost in a panic to get out of these kids' grasp.

One of the boys shrieked. "Mister! Your ear!" He had the appendage firmly in his grasp, and was pulling with all his might. To his great surprise, his babysitter's ear seemed to be…stretching?

Luffy inwardly moaned and tried to pull away, but the little kids were surprisingly strong. They held him down and began to pull on his skin, stretching his arms, legs, nose, anything they could get their hands on. Their shrill cries of delight were beginning to hurt his ears!

"Get off!" He could take no more. Pushing them roughly off him, he clambered to his feet. This was his first mistake. With little kids, when you push them…they push back.

Interpreting his push as a playful gesture, they sprang back on him. This time, he managed to stay on his feet, but he was covered in kids. Their combined weight was enough to bring the captain to his knees.

He managed to shake them off again and retreated into a corner. _Oh my god,_ he though._ I'll never survive this. I'll never make it out alive!_

* * *

While the adults were calmly talking about nothing, Luffy was going through the worst day of his life. Not even the times he and his nakama had been in a tight spot compared to this. He had had his hair combed and plaited more times than he could count, and he had been stretched (literally) to near the breaking point. He couldn't take much more of this!

The kids were now calmly painting one wall a hideous shade of magenta, which clashed horribly with the other walls (bright pink, green, and orange). The paint got everywhere, and the kids insisted on painting some of the toys as well….which ended up in one big, paint splattered mess. Why did these kids have to be so messy?

Suddenly, the youngest boy started crying for no reason that Luffy could see. SHe had eaten a very messy snack just a few minutes ago! He couldn't possibly be hungry again!

All was made clear to Luffy when a horrible smell began to pervade the room: the smell of a very messy dirty diaper.

Luffy stared at her in horror. What was he supposed to do? He had never had to change a diaper before- he'd never even had to play with kids before! He ventured a step towards him, plowing through the other kids.

"Hey..." he muttered, hesitantly reaching out to pick him up. The diaper changing table was near the back of the room, much cleaner that the rest of the furniture. He lifted the little boy off the ground and held him out as far away from himself as possible. _What did their mom FEED them?_ Luffy wondered, trying to keep a look of extreme disgust off his face.

He took the small child over to the table and slowly took the child's clothes off, revealing a sagging diaper. The smell intensified, nearly causing him to gag. He reached for the flaps of the diaper with trembling fingers…

* * *

After nearly half an hour of fumbling, Luffy had finally managed to change the diaper. After having to wipe a young boy's bottom, the kid had nearly peed on him!

The arc of yellow liquid had missed Luffy's face by inches, streaming towards the ground and making a nice, large puddle for him to clean up. Of course the carpet was waterproof, so not even a little bit was soaked up.

He cleaned up the puddle, all the while thinking about One Piece and becoming the Pirate King. It was all that kept him going.

After what seemed like an eternity of suffering, the door finally opened. Luffy nearly bolted out on the spot, but he figured he might as well put on a show of cheerfulness.

"How did you do?" asked Rinari. "Did you have any problems?"

Luffy forced a grin. "No…" he muttered, lying through his teeth. "I had to change one kid's diaper, but that was it…" He began walking towards the door with forced slowness, trying to look casual.

Rinari smiled. "Well, you've been here for 5 hours, so I owe you… 35,000 beri! Here…" she pulled out her purse and gave him the correct amount. "Thank you so much for watching them," she said warmly. "If we ever need you again, we'll be sure to call!"

Luffy smiled a very fake smile and practically ran out of the house. He hoped never to babysit again.

* * *

Tadaaa! R&R please

Also, if you want to suggest situations for Luffy to get into, I'll try to incorporate them!

Oh, and a quick note- I've decided that Luffy has to make 200,000 beri to clear his debt. Only 165,000 left!


End file.
